This morning on the train it occurred to me: I am not my disorders.  Although at times it seems that I have been totally consumed by eating disordered and self destructive thoughts, they do not define me.  From now on, I will no longer say “I am anorexic” or “I am borderline,” and instead say “I have anorexic” or “I have borderline personality disorder.”  Normally I find it petty and pretentious when people fuss about this kind of distinction, but my choice of words here can really make a difference in my ability to function.  Whenever a negative, distorted thought enters my head, I can say, “Hey!  Get out of there!  I have my own thoughts and I want you to get out of my way!”  

Of course, this is not to say I am any closer to knowing who I am.  But at least now I know for sure what I am not.